Okay,

So, i thought i knew what i was doing. i thought i figured it all out. i thought i believed in love, and second chances. but fuck.... maybe its not worth it. maybe life shouldn't be this hard.

i always take the hard way. i have the easy way right in front of me.

i finally have my life back. i have my friends, family, and a place to live. i have a guy who likes me, and who has liked me for a while, and is super nice to me, but i always want something else.

i love chad with all my heart. i really wish i didn't. i wish i could stop. its sounds so easy, but its not.

he called and talked to my mom and dad yesterday for over an hour and tried to tell them hes changing for the better.

my dad and chads dad talked for an hour today.

i decided to leave, and to go back to chad. but then like an hour ago, chad called and told me the car broke down and they have to go get it fixed. is that a sign? should i tell him not to come?

i don't know what's right and what's wrong anymore.

i wish someone would take me away. far away.