went to see the fireworks

and they were so pretty.

i itched though, i think i got poisin ivy or something from going to the waterfall.

me and chad are great. things have been kinda rocky, but what did i honestly expect? im not over what he did to me, and i let it be known. im no longer letting him take control.

i got this shit on lock nigga.


oh and i have my baby back! i missed storm so much!

im backkk

yea.

I lost my phone

at the park somewhere. im hoping a homeless guy calls chads phone and bribes me to pay him to get it back. better than it being lost forever.

:[

Im taking a pregnancy test..

tonight when chad gets home.

me and angelika and ashley went shopping all day. i got super cute short shorts, and some capris, and a really cute orange peacock feather shirt.

now were about to head to the skatepark.

im nervous about the test. like freaking out.

but whatever. it would be my luck to end up being pregnant. i have the worst luck ever.

but life is fun. im being carefree and happy. i just wish chad wouldnt be so emo, and enjoy me being here, even if it is just for a little while. he wants me to just jump right back in a relationship and i cant do that. im having a good time, nothing more.

if were meant to be, we will be together, and thats my logic on it.

i want to go to 6 flags so damn bad.

fuck the greyhound!

so after 12 hours, im finally in atlanta. and nothing is the same. i dont know. chad is crying non stop and begging me to forgive him, but i finally feel like.. i dont know.

its weird.

i dont know how to explain it.

i guess i will see how this week goes.

I leave tomorrow!

me and angelika are taking the grey hound!

its going to be fun!

either way, if me and chad dont work, i will still be having the time of my life. yessssssss.


i just have to go, i have to. i have to see if hes really changing. i need to see if we can work. i know all of you are going to talk shit, and get mad at me for going, and i completly get it. he broke my heart. but hes promising me a change, and if i dont go, how will i ever know if hes serious?!

i love him and i know he loves me. yea he fucked up, and i hate him for that, but im giving it one more shot.


:] besides, im superrrrrr stoked to get to spend a week with my girl!

Okay,

So, i thought i knew what i was doing. i thought i figured it all out. i thought i believed in love, and second chances. but fuck.... maybe its not worth it. maybe life shouldn't be this hard.

i always take the hard way. i have the easy way right in front of me.

i finally have my life back. i have my friends, family, and a place to live. i have a guy who likes me, and who has liked me for a while, and is super nice to me, but i always want something else.

i love chad with all my heart. i really wish i didn't. i wish i could stop. its sounds so easy, but its not.

he called and talked to my mom and dad yesterday for over an hour and tried to tell them hes changing for the better.

my dad and chads dad talked for an hour today.

i decided to leave, and to go back to chad. but then like an hour ago, chad called and told me the car broke down and they have to go get it fixed. is that a sign? should i tell him not to come?

i don't know what's right and what's wrong anymore.

i wish someone would take me away. far away.